Thoughts on wasting your 20s
I recently read a post by Rob May on his blog called Coconut Headsets about wasting your 20s. I have never heard of Rob or his company Backupify, but man was I able to relate to Rob’s point of view and life lessons.
I agree with everything Rob said. I had similar lessons with very different experiences. This is my stab at lessons learned during my life in a chronological order.
Significant hardship: I have read in the past that people who experience significant hardship before the age of 16 develop an inner drive that can’t be taught. My father died when I was 10 years old while we lived in Peru. This event disrupted things for a very long time. I think his death fuels me to create a financial safety net for my family and a family life at home that is harmonious and positive. My mother did everything she could to raise us well while struggling financially. I think I turned out well, but my sister did not. I was almost shot by terrorist in Peru when I was 14, so my mother sold our stuff and we moved to Miami 30 days later to start a new life.
Get busy learning: Working full time while studying (HS and college) is critical to gain real life lessons. While in HS, I worked from 4am to 7pm each Saturday and Sunday setting up 5 stores in a flea market and selling used jeans in one of these stores. I would then go out with my girlfriend and get 3 hours of sleep Saturday nights. During the week I played soccer after school. Make sure the jobs you have are teaching you skills that you can apply to many jobs later on. I was lucky enough to work for a small export company in MIami after I left the flea market gig. I helped the export company grow from 2 employees to 6 in 4 years. I was the Export Manager responsible for many tasks like sales, customer service, warehouse management, shipping and logistics, letters of credit, procurement, accounting, and more before the age of 21. I was not allowed to be an authorized signature on the company check book because I was not 21. I was running everything else from 9 to 5 while studying Engineering at night.
Don’t get stuck - Aim high: I was making money and very happy with my life in Miami. But it took my best friend Benjamin Vera-Tudela who was also working with me at the export company to realize Miami and that well paying job was not everything. He quit one day and told me he was leaving to Kansas to play on a soccer scholarship. I responded: “Are you nuts man! We are learning and making money while living in the best city in the world”. Weeks after he left, I realized there was more to life and I had to aim high. I was stuck in a job without a true career path while studying at night and Engineering was not my focus. I had to get out and re-evaluate my goals. I applied to the University of Florida without having the funds to pay for school. I got in and 6 months later I moved to Gainesville, FL to start a new chapter. I did party a lot, but had 2 or at times 3 jobs to pay for school. I still ended with a boat load of credit card debt, but I paid it less than 4 years after graduating. I could not get student loans because I was not a US resident.
Learn by trying and failing (not just reading theory): After getting my Industrial Engineering degree from UF, I accepted a consulting job with PricewaterhouseCoopers. I felt I had just taken a huge leap forward when compared to my Miami days. I focused on learning a lot about estate planning, investing, technology, and many other random topics. I got an MBA at one point as well. The real learning came from failing to make any money with stocks and other business ventures. I learned that I had to have a backup plan to my normal W2 paying job. I have started over 6 companies and little business ventures in the last 10 years. I have learned something with every failure. I have also started purchasing rental real estate properties for investment purposes and this is creating a nice second income for us while working on a tech venture / startup. My lessons from the sstash failure are in an earlier post in this blog.
Happiness is the state of mind you create: I am not sure if this makes too much sense. I believe that the way someone responds to the challenges in life makes all the difference. If you choose to be negative and self pity your situation, then you will see things with a dark cloud. I always try to focus on the positive and look for a solution when shit hits the fan. If you don’t like something about your life or yourself, then you have the power to change it. If you don’t, that is your choice! My wife Natalia and I work hard at making our life a happy one. We have two great kids (Sebastian 4 and Sophia 8 months).
Praise vs. Encouragement: I discovered the power of praise vs. encouragement late in my life and primarily after my son Sebastian was born in 2008. Andy Fleming from Core Growth Partners was an advisor of mine whom I met at Flashpoint, and he was the first to clearly explain this simple and very important method of communication with kids.
Growth vs. Fixed Mindset: The book by Carol Dweck has been great at putting all of these lessons from the past 4 years into a nicely summarized book explaining praise vs. encouragement and how people react differently to challenges and criticism. I strongly recommend you guys read the book.
People around you: One of the late lessons I have learned, is that we should really work hard at networking with people we admire and we want to be around. Don’t just let friends, advisors, influencers, and colleagues come and go randomly. Make coffee appointments, reach out to people, and stay in touch with people who can help you achieve the goals you set for yourself. I should have started to work much harder at this many years ago.
So, I certainly did not waste my 20s. Hardships also were huge influencers in my life. My latest lessons around Growth Mindsets and Praises will help me raise Sebastian and Sophia to be good hard working and self driven individuals without experiencing a tragic hardship if life permits.
